2016 was definitely a year of lessons for me. In the department of relationships, especially.
I’ll start by saying this – it wasn’t always bad. There were so many laughs and smiles and joyous times. But, I’m not here to sugar coat things. There was a lot bad. When looking back on my relationships this year, I can’t help but to be drawn to the memories of heartbreak rather than the moments my heart was happy because, to me, I felt those moments of hurt deeper than I felt those moments of happiness.
I’m taking the road less traveled here and telling y’all that I do not place all the blame on the guys. In part, I was the one that broke my own heart. A large portion (you could say nearly all) of the guys I had any relations with in 2016 could’ve been broken into two categories:
- People I decided to try again with
- People I knew better than to have relations/feelings/anything with – the “bad boy”, co-workers, guys in a relationship, people it was actually against the rules to be with, etc.
I say I broke my own heart because I went into almost all of my relationships thinking “this person has already hurt me but maybe this time it will work out” or “I should not get involved with this person”. Both of which should’ve been a big flashing warning sign telling me to stop what I was doing and turn around. But, being the hopeless romantic I am, I didn’t.
*this is where I’m going to drop some knowledge on all, so listen up*
First and foremost, ladies, please stop going back to the person who hurt you. You should never expect the same person who broke your heart to mend it as well. I know it’s comfortable and you get to skip the initial awkwardness and “getting to know you” stage of a relationship but it is insane to do the same thing over and over and expect different results. That’s exactly what getting back with your ex or rekindling an old flame is. Personally, I’ve always believed that when someone truly appreciates you, they will care enough to get it right the first time around.
Next, eliminate all relationships in your life that give you conflicted feelings. You deserve something you don’t have to question. Men always go hard for what they truly want, so if he isn’t going hard for you, you are not what he wants.
Okay, this was the HARDEST lesson I’ve had to learn because (if you’ve read my previous post you’ll remember this) I have a thing for fixer uppers. *You can not save someone who doesn’t wish to be saved and you can not change someone who doesn’t want to change.* As much as we want to take the bad boy and turn him good or take a guy out of a toxic relationship, in the end, you are not the one to make that change, he is.
I’m going to leave you with this, the man God has in store for you is just for you. You won’t have to beg for his attention. You won’t have to steal him from another woman. You won’t have to sleep with him to keep him. You won’t have to lie to him about your circumstances, all you need to do is be still and wait on God.
2016 was the year of lessons & I’m praying 2017 is the year blessings (specifically, a tall & handsome blue-eyed blessing).
-B Grace out