Before we dive into it, here’s a quick life update:
I’M OFFICIALLY A COLLEGE GRADUATE!! Finally done with the B.S.!!! (Get it? Bachelor of Science…no, okay…) A lot of people have been asking me how it feels & honestly, it still hasn’t really hit me yet. So, I’m just patiently waiting for the “oh crap, I’m an adult now” moment.
I must admit, graduation was one of the top 5 best days of my life. I had a good majority of my in and out of state family and all my friends there celebrating. I was just surrounded with so much love and full of good food the whole weekend. I couldn’t have asked for more. It was great😊
Since graduation, though, life’s been on the bumpy side.
*side note: I promise I will not be whiny and all “poor Bella” the whole time. There is a light at the end of this tunnel y’all!!!*
For the last 3 weeks of post-grad life I’ve been working 2 jobs 6 days out of the week, some being 12 almost 13 hour days, coming home to an empty apartment, having really bad dreams at night, getting 4 to 5 hours of sleep, and not having a lot of time for myself. In addition, I have been met with a lot of complications related to grad school and my graduate assistantship position in Alabama and the process of trying to move across the country. There’s also the stresses in the life that I feel like everyone would understand (relational, financial, emotional, spiritual, etc.). Sometimes, I can’t help but ask myself why all these bad things are happening in my life. Today, as I was leaving the car dealership, where my car is shacking up for night to fix almost $2000 worth of damage from a minor accident earlier this week, I thought to myself, “I feel like my life is falling apart in front of me and there is no way I can hold it all up by myself”.
And it’s true…I can’t.
I constantly exhaust myself trying to work towards perfection.
I am a planner, I make sure everyone around me is happy before I make sure I am, I put on a good face every day even when I’m not feeling it, I work my hardest to maintain my positivity, I am too hard on myself, I never want to disappoint anyone.
I am drained.
To a certain point, all these characteristics can be beneficial, but in the end life never goes as planned. I try to plan five, ten years from now when in reality, I don’t even know what tomorrow holds. That’s when God’s plan has to triumph past, present, and future plans. I can’t hold up my life all by myself, but God can and that is something I have had to realize recently.
While struggling to come to terms with my insecurity of putting the future in God’s hands, I was spending a lot of time in the Word. I came across numerous verses that spoke to me, but one more than the others. That was Daniel 3:17-18. If you are familiar with the story of King Nebuchadnezzar, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, and the fiery furnace, that is where the verses came from. It reads:
“If we are thrown into the fire, our God Whom we serve is able to save us from it. And He will save us from your hand, O king. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the object of gold that you have set up.”
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego are faithful and trust that the Lord will save them from the wrath of King Nebuchadnezzar and the fiery furnace, but even if they get engulfed by the flames, they still trust that it was all part of God’s plan and that He is still good. Amazing.
I urge myself, and you as well, to be more like these men and take on the “but if not, He is still good” approach to life.
“But if not…”
If I lose a loved one.
If my marriage/relationship fails.
If my prayers are not answered exactly how I wanted.
If everything seems to be going wrong.
“…He is still good.”
I am still loved by Him.
I am still a Child of God.
I am still alive.
I am still loved.
God doesn’t promise to save us from the flames, but He has promised to be with us as we walk through the fire.
Things do not always go as planned. We don’t always have a perfect situation. And God doesn’t call us to. He doesn’t call us to have the perfect life or be a perfect person. He calls us to love and trust Him. He doesn’t care if you are skinny, or in a relationship, or rich, or make all A’s. He wants us to do 2 things: to love Him and to show others His love through our actions. So, despite the hard times and the moments when you are certain your life is falling apart, God still provides. He stills loves us. And he is still SO good.
-B Grace out✌️
Here are some more scripture readings to help you through the hard times:
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
I have said this to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you face persecution. But take courage; I have conquered the world!
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.
I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us.